Wednesday, December 27, 2006
flashback
the year 2006 going to end soon.....bye 2006 and hello 2007...soonlah.somehow,this morning,sitting in front of my pc,i cant help it but think of "you".four years have passed(its really a very long time) but your image is still on my mind.those happy moments still very fresh on my mind.i still cant figure out what happen between you,me and our gang.i guess i will never figure that out.when was the last time i saw you?i think it is one year ago at tesco.you look at me and i look at you but none of us approach each other.how old are you now?ah ha..22...i knew you when you were 18 years old.i like the way you talked,your smile,your jokes.i think one of the happiest moment that you are in my mind is one day before i departed to melaka to further my studies in mmu.i still remember me,you,ch,yp, went to town pizza hut and you pay for our meal.then we met s.kean at kfc with san.we walked to the park and play under the rain.really like small kids.there we took some pictures(i still have them with me now..hehe)and we went jj after that.at the food court,we talk non stop and tease each other.i was really happy that time.no stress and no need to worry a single thing.how i wish those moments can come back but i know things changed.everyone went to a different path.all of you(km,sk,lsk,ch,yp,san) once walk with me in my journey and right now,all of you no longer there...but only memories remain.there is nothing i can do except i wish all of you obtain happiness.i cant predict the future but when i refresh back to my past,the memories i have with you all is one of the best i ever had and i have no regrets getting to know all of you.as the new year coming,i have few resolutions.firstly,wish my parents healthy always and secondly,hope to get good results in my studies and the list goes on.haha...thats all for now.sleepy liao
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
Wednesday, December 20, 2006
woke up in the morning and realise...
when i woke up this morning,i realise we are from two different world insignificantly.our thoughts are completely different.we seldom agree on anything anymore.I guess both of us have change as the time passed.The past can never return and so is the feeling.You tell me your stories and i tell mine and we both listen only to what each other saying.i dun have anymore personal opinion when you tell me something.i just listen and listen.yup,this indicate my "mind" has won once and for all.and you know what?my heart starts to agree on my mind too.well,i guess it is time to move on.my journey of life still continues....and as i walk down the path,i am sure i will meet a lot of different people."You" once have walk with in the journey and now,you still do but just that not that close.there is a distance.for now,i still walking with my parents(nearest to me) while others are walking in a distance with me.However,i feel happy my parents were there..and as usual,the feeling of safety and happiness is there.thats all for now..
Tuesday, December 19, 2006
while walking on the rain
Something came out of my mind when i was walking on the rain today.somehow,i miss my family a lot.i wish to thank god for blessing them with good health.well,they are most precious treasure and the only ones that sincerely love me.When i have the ability to take care of them,i will protect them at any cost.I wont let anyone (not even my own family ) to hurt them in any way.I miss my grandma anyway,though it has been three years she left me .i know she is in a better place now,she has return to her lord,her saviour.i respect her for what she was,for everything she has done for me.the memory of her shall remain forever in my mind.As for my another grandma,i dun really wanna talk about her except she is a stranger to me.While i was walking on the rain,i thought of my life too.From positive to negative side.well,at that moment,i wish i have a car so that i wont have to walk under the rain with my umbrella(i still get wet).so charm...It reminds me what my fren told me the other day.this fren of mine din know how lucky she is.her life is kind of ok to me.father provide her with a car to go here and there,mum cooks at home,never have to budget herself and yet she complain about her family protecting her.she have no idea the life outside her own sweet home and hometown.she even do her training at her father's firm.i wonder she have any idea on working outside.Kids nowadays are very lucky.some stay at home during holidays without working.Parents over protective.Ended up,they dun know the tough world outside.Once they went to work after graduate,then only they realise how hard it is to earn money.well,i learn those kind of hardship of earning money quite early compare to others.It is not that i am not good in my studies or i am from a poor family,but my mother want me and my sister to be independant and learn something from working experience and indeed i have learn a lot.I have face complaints from customer and learn how to deal with them,manager asking me to go to his office(getting bullied) and i met all kind of people.oh yea,one more thing,punctuality.i notice a lot of people not punctual(my frens).i think the reason why is because they never realise the consequences.well,when you work,not punctual,consequences is severe.I am not complaining about my life,just that i have face some hardships which i know it is just the beginning and the journey is still very long but i count my blessings at the same time.before i went to bed,i wanna thank god for everything.nitez!
Friday, December 15, 2006
Wednesday, November 29, 2006
Saturday, November 18, 2006
my mind won!for nowlah....
yup,my mind has won the battle,once again my heart got defeated.disspointed look at my heart.was so sure it will win but unfortunely,my mind determination is stronger plus with the help of the ears and mouth also.my heart was going to win but unfortunely,my ears contribute to my mind."you" miss the very tiny details and that was the main cause my heart lost.I could feel my mind jumping and smiling in joy once the ear stand on its side.Soon,my heart have no choice but back to its ownself.A tiny heart which always hide everything.Congrats to my mind!
Thursday, November 16, 2006
confession
yea,finally,my heart wins a bit but the mind is still very dominating.my heart makes a confession to my mind saying "i really love "you".my mind still refuse to accept it and my heart is giving an evil smile to my mind indicating that in this battle,my heart have the confidence to win.haha...lonely night so i start to talk crap.anyway,it is time for me to sleep liao.tonight is quite remarkable as my heart make confession to my mind.the reason?my heart experience fear....fear of losing "you" but after a while,my heart have mistaken after listening to "your" explaination.my heart will never give up but my mind is still the main power and conquering me.ok,nitez!
Wednesday, November 15, 2006
battle between the heart and the mind
hmm,i think there is a battle going on between my heart and my mind.well,those two are always battling and guess wat,usually my mind wins all the time.very seldom,my heart wins.wanna know why?my heart are full of imagination,fantasy ,things that will never work on reality while my mind on the other hand which have a very rational and down to earth thinking.i have been thinking a lot ever since 1st sem hols start till now.each time my heart told me something when i search my deepest feelings,my mind strongly forbid me to do so.you probably think my mind is trying to fool me but when i think of the past,all the things that my heart leading is a mistake.yeah,my mind is smiling now because i always on its side ever since i face failure in the past.the defeat has cause my heart becoming small(not the size)...it has become a very fragile heart which always hide true feelings ,unable to tell anyone what it feels.in other words,my heart is trapped inside.my mind has conquer all.bow to my mind,i shall!
Sunday, November 12, 2006
2nd sem
yup,it is another sem already.2nd sem of my delta year.for the past three months,lot of things happen.so many,i not sure i can remember all.last sem,it was really a stressful sem.face a lot of obstacles along the way.assignments,presentation,exams,time was never enough.for assignment,some went well and some din but at last,everything was settle.then during study week,was really stressed up cos cant finish study as usual.but "you" were there to support me and i become your listener also.after exam finish on wednesday,i was very excited as i have decide to go down to cyberjaya to visit karen and yen lian.so long din see them.however,i cant meet irene as she went back to her hometown already.so on thursday,me and feli took a bus down to kl.i dun know the way to go 1 utama and i learn it that day.first we took a putra lrt to kelana jaya and from there we took a bus to 1 u.when we reach 1 u,my shoulders in pain as i carrying my luaguage along.we were really tired but the amount of shop attract us to walk around.along our journey,yen only miss call me once and karen din call or sms or anything.they let us survive alone on our way to 1 u.then,we saw mph and went there to browse some books.because i was too tired already so,din really look around.instead i put my bag at the seat and sat there.actually,i was waiting for you to call since 3 pm but you din call.occasionally,i will look at my hp and my watch.waited for karen and yen lian almost half an hour and not even their shadow can be seen.my stomach was grumbling already.then,you called but by listening to your tone of voice,i know you annoyed when i told you i am going to spend the night with my frens.then i told you i will call you once i spend time with my frens.at last,karen and yen lian turned up and we went for dinner.you sms me telling me you can pick me up from 1 u or cyberia.was having nice time catching up some gossip from karen and yen.food was great there but a bit expensive.after walk around for around 2 hours,finally we took a bus back to cyberia.i was very tired but was looking forward to meet you.by the time we reached cyberia,it was almost midnight so i gave you a call but you told me you were not well.i was very sad and dissapointed cos you know very well,we are going out soon but you choose to drink alcohol.i tot you went out with your frens for a drink.the next day,i woke up early cos din really sleep well.was sms you when you call.you explained you din go out but stay at home so my anger cool down a bit.i was happy when you say you are going to meet me in mid valley.unfortunely,me and my frens missed out one station and ended up in another place.so,at last,i saw you.yen lian and feli went to midvalley by themselves.indeed,you look better compare to last time,i saw you.and you explained everything to me.haha,why din you call me when you were in 1 u?want to give me a suprise,kononnya...spendfew hours with you and finally back to mv.oh yea,i met steven also.he look the same only.not much difference.so long din see him.was kind of suprised he came to yen's place to meet me cos the last time i went to cyber,he din want to meet me.aiya...that fella only like leng lui only...i so fat and ugly...nothing much abouthim except he mention he went to dataran pahlawan already.wah,i from malacca also havent been there but he went already.keng!then on sat,went back to ipohloh.during the hols,sleep and eat only.so many things i wanna write down but lazy.maybe next time continue...hehe
Saturday, November 11, 2006
Sunday, August 13, 2006
aaaarrrggghhhhhhh.....i lost my favourite hp key chain and guess what?i bought it few days ago only and i barely use it for a week.haih...bad luck.really sad.all my favourite things sure lost one and cant find it back.i lost a key chain,one crystal apple pendant ,one blue heart pendant...gone ..gone...all gone.they meant a lot to me but somehow,i lost them.the crystal apple pendant meant a lot because it was the first thing i bought with my first salary and i like it a lot.
Saturday, August 12, 2006
today is definitely a remarkable day.it is the day some of my seniors going to graduate.really envy with them.wonder when it is my turn.i am not so sure whether i am going to graduate on time.means probably i need to extend my studies.haha...just pray hard that wont happen.thinking myself taking supplementary paper is already a nightmare for me and if i failed,it is like a death penalty to me already.hmmm....i remember the first day i step my foot into mmu,i start to look at this senior as my idol.yea,that time was orientation,i admire you for your looks only,i admit that.haha,as time goes by,i heard of your greatness.your achievement in studies,your activeness in various clubs.i wish i were someone like you but definitely i am not.until then,i never knew you,i just look you from far ,thats all.i really admire the way you study,you are so hardworking.each time i saw you in lib,you will be busy studying.the speed of writing amazed me also.you never stop doing your tutorial.no wonder i saw your name on dean list.you were always my inspiration.each time i saw you writting nonstop,i told myself not to give up cos i want to be like you.i know i will never active as you are but i hope my studies will reach your level or at least i will work hard for it.well,everything will comes to an end.i will never see you rushing to class in campus anymore.there is another fren of mine graduating.really happy for you.time really pass.i still remember i was in alpha when i know you.now,i am in delta liao!thanks for being there.i hope our friendship will last.wish you all the best(if you are reading this)
Friday, August 11, 2006
was very shocked when i met you the other day.surprised?scared?i just dun know how i feel.the last time i met you is one year ago.time really passed.you din change a lot .i knew it was you when i hear your voice.i start to think of the past again.flashback...haha...i still remember we went out one night.my fren called and my mum nearly got to know i went out with you.i din really lie,i did went out with my fren but she left early.then we went makan at restoran mamamia.those happy moments still very fresh on my mind.i dun know why i always hang on to the past.i know it is time to move on but each time i back to my hometown,everything came back.not only you but other people as well.people that i once love and gone from my life now,great frens that i have make and still keep in touch but there is a distance.i remember every single of them clearly,every single thing we do together,every detail is still on my mind.i guess it is a memory i cant erase.yesterday was one of my fren's birthday and i send an sms to her.this fren of mine is once my very best fren.she said she was happy that i wish her.i ask myself when i saw those words.do i really mean to wish her?i really dun know.i only start to think the betrayal of her.well,i remember very clearly.our friendship start to deteoriate the day your "lalat" came into your life.i dont really mind that.its not my bussiness.but i guess everything change between us when we were in form 3.you promised that you will sit next to me.km ask me to sit with her but because of you,i din sit with her.when i think back,its kind of silly cos i was very happy sitting next to km when i was in form 2.but i never think that because of benefit of yourself,you din sit next to me,instead you sat next to sy.i cried so much at night,telling my parents and worst is my parents told me you cant be trusted.at that time,i still defend you and refuse to accept the truth.my feelings were really hurt and not to mention the problem i face after that.because of you,i have to sit next to jl and ct start to hate me because she want to sit next to jl.really have a miserable time and who should i thank for that?you?the problem between us doesnt end there.during form 4,i was forced to sit next to you and you open my bag without my permission.i guess our so called "best fren" relationship end there.you ask me all the reason but i never tell you frankly what exactly happen because i do not know how to tell you.well,you have your own life and i have my own.i learn not to trust my fren and i dun give priority to my frens because of this.so,do i really mean to wish you birthday?i think i dun owe you anything anymore.i have been keeping this in my heart for few years.its good to let it out.i know i have make a lot of mistakes in life.i will try my best to be a better person.just give me some time.strive hard for the best!
Monday, July 31, 2006
there are always things which i never understand.no matter how hard i try to understand.so many problems.so many things to think about.sometimes,i really feel tired .feel so lonely here.feel so lost.i dun know where am i,dun know where am i going,i just dun know.feel really down nowadays.i wish there was someone here with me,but unfortunely,there was no one,just me only standing at a crowd which never knew my existance.frens?yea,i do have frens here but sad to say,those were not my true frens.i realise they only come to me when they need my help.i dun mind that cos i did that sometimes,who dun have flaws?but some were really over the limit,i have this fren(not going to mention her name here) who has been so busy( i have no idea she is busy with what),i havent see her for 6 weeks.thats almost more than a month.each time,i have to send message to her ym.i am sick of doing that.she remind me one of my so called best fren.this fren of mine only come to me when she need me,and once,she ask me to go out to jj but she plan to meet me for 15 minutes.wtf,15 minutes??might as well,dun ask me out.when i go out with frens,i spend at least an hour not bloody 15 minutes.to me,they have no initiative to maintain a true friendship.so,why should i care such frens?to me,they are catogorized as hi bye frens.ok,i know you must think that i damn fussy ,bad,whatsoever.i dun want to live my life like a "pretender".i know life is like a stage but we dun have to act someone who are perfect to go on in life.they might look very successful from outside,but deep inside,only the god knows.i am not saying i am perfect,i have lots of weakness too but at least,i try my very best to be a true fren.haih,just dissapointed with this fren of mine.i really gave up,no point to care also.people might think i like naggin and "fan" only.no one will appreciate so i told myself,i come to mmu not to make my frens happy and be a clown,come here to get my degree.if you think i am a hermit ,freak,go ahead,i dun mind as long as i am not doing anything wrong that go agaiinst my belief.tired liao..nitez...
Monday, July 17, 2006
got some connection problem at home recently.lots of things happen till i dun know where to start also.firstly,i accidently broke my flusk.like that flusk a lot because mum gave to me.then my stupid printer got problem.waste ink absorber full and need replacement.have to find canon service centre only can.it is located in melaka raya.i dun have car so ask my fren to fetch me there.after that,i tot life will run smoothly but then i was very wrong.my fren called me on thursday night saying he coming down on mlk on sat night and want to put his car in my house.not really big problem but i just scared when i tot of driving the car from melaka sentral to my house.Luckily,things went alright cos my fren decided to drive the car down to jb.so my problem solved!actually,got something bothering me and make me sad but i am not going to mention it here(in case,that person read my blog).then,connection problem.my housemates want to downgrade.wtf!what if connection become much slower?can that f**king idiot guarantee the connection speed will remain?i dun care what the shit hell that fella said.just feel like kicking him out from my line.go apply your own line,ass****!...
Monday, June 19, 2006
Sunday, April 23, 2006
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