Christmas coming, end of year 2013 and say hello to 2014..

It is that time of the year again.The beauty of christmas tree and the enchanting deco surround the malls really cheer up any soul in this world. Although I feel happy seeing all those beautiful christmas deco, yet, I will think , if daddy was here with me, isnt that nice? I miss his smile, his loud voice, his jokes. Not a day I wont think of him.Sometimes, it is very hard to let go the one u love. Not an easy thing to do. He was the one who raise me up, the one who fetch me to school, the one who send me to tuition. He was always there, the look of his face when I got married.He was a great man, the best daddy to me. I have been harsh with him sometimes, teasing him as 'stingy poker' but I didnt know that his money was taken away by his own family causing him to be in such a way. I didnt know that until recently. How cruel is this world.I just feel sorry for my daddy. Well, apart from that, everything is going well.Work, slightly stress due to chasing dateline. Looking forward to Pangkor holiday with family. Yes, I have achieved another target for year 2013. Bought a soho apartment @ Glenmarie at the price of 298k(477 sqf) Yes, i know its small but what to do? Location is very strategic with KDU college in the master plan. The fact is, I cant afford high price property due to lack of money. This is for investment. Like the proverb, bersusah susah dulu, senang senang kemudian. Need to borrow bank loan and a bit afraid income tax will chase after me on this. Well, next target will be starting a family next year. Hubby said want to have baby in the year of the horse. Everything is fated but I need to cure my infertility issue first. Finger crossed.

Advice most needed is least heeded

Well, it has been more than a year my beloved daddy left us without even say goodbye.Although I have always told myself, it is time to move on but each time I think of him, tears will definitely falling from my cheeks.Up till today, I still havent let go, to accept the fact he has gone. I keep asking myself,what actually happen?The memories keep falling down my head , its like flashing some old movies using some old junk equipment in the cinema. In the so called film movie on my head, I recalled how fast it happens, how much I have cried in the funeral parlour, the look at the motionless body in the mortuary, the stitches in his body, and how his body disappear from my sight in the cremation hall.It was a very painful memory, and sometimes, I wonder how my mum actually go through it. A person who u know more than 30 years, sleeping on the side of your bed for the last 30 years suddenly gone. I must admit, my mum is a tough lady.I didnt see her cry much in the funeral but deep down, I know, it hurts her more (probably ten times more than what I felt). The sad eyes on her face on that frightful night, I recalled.Without daddy, I have to do every thing on my own, I thank god for giving me a lovely hubby on my side. Positive thinking, I still have family. My younger sis has always been quiet,I bet she miss daddy too. He was her buddy, her best friend.She learn the lesson the hard way but I am glad she has changed. Changed for better. Her studies so far is good with getting into Dean List. Daddy will be so proud of her. After Dad's incident, I realized, yes, money is important but we should do what we want to do cos life is really short. Live like there is no tomorrow. Although my daddy has become a past, we still need to look into the future. Celebrate mother's day in mum's new apartment with the Rachel and Wai Lik. Mum already retired and I believe she deserve to have a peaceful, happy life . Till then, adios!

2013: First half of the year, feeling great...

Wow, five months, I didnt update my blog. Well, just to share on some update.Recently, I bought a house at Bukit Katil, Melaka. Very happy about it due to the fact, property price is rising tremendously. Looking back the things I had, I realised that I achieve my target. Before 30, I already married, own property, car,hmm...whats next? change car?nah, my car is still in good condition and cars are liabilites. Yea, a lot of people keep asking the same question.when are u having kids? Well, not now. I still want to see the world. Having kids means tying down(can see my neighbour lifestyle-everyday sit at home. omg) I want to spend some quiet time going holiday with my hubby while we can. My mum keep asking me to work hard on the baby issue. Very pressure on this topic. Changing job makes me consider on this kid issue. I need to impressed my boss. Getting pregnant means low productivity(with the morning sickness). Its not that I dont want to have kids but kids plan to be phostphoned(when i am ready).Yea,you might said,by the time u want, cant get it loh due to age factor. Nah, if fated, will have onelah. Let it naturally. Father's Day which falls last weekend, it bring back a lot of memories of my late daddy. It has been one year. Things has been same from the outside but the truth is, things are never same again. I miss his jokes, his smile, his laughter, his loud voice..etc In the early stage, when I go downstairs of my ipoh house on Sunday, tears start flowing down my cheeks non stop.I got so used to my daddy calling me in the morning to wake me up and he will be downstairs , either in the toilet or reading newspaper. The fact that he was gone was difficult to digest when it happens too sudden. As time passes, I no longer cried when I back to Ipoh as I knew I need to stay strong for my mum. It wasnt easy as I notice some mild depression symptom in my mum. I tried to be considerate and tolerate with her. Many times, I lost control and ended up quarrelling with her (i hate the fact my dad is not here and I have to do things on my own and his task) I feel tired at times but I told myself, I need to hang on. There is no one else to help but me and its only me. It wasnt easy dealing with my mum tantrums, my younger sis . When a person gone, things doesnt pause/stop there. There are credit cards(debts) to settle, insurance, socso, lawyers. i have to deal with this and along the way, my younger sis couldnt take it and I have to tolerate with her behaviour. After one year, 80% involving things on my daddy is done.All of us have move on(particularly my elder sis). We miss him and we know he always in our hearts. Its time to look at the future, things we want to do. I myself, what I want is my mum to move on with life,i want her to be happy. Retired and move here so that I can take good care of her. On my career, confirmation of my position is already done. Yay! Things are great in my new company. No stress, learn new things everyday. I love my job!