Friday, August 11, 2006

was very shocked when i met you the other day.surprised?scared?i just dun know how i feel.the last time i met you is one year ago.time really passed.you din change a lot .i knew it was you when i hear your voice.i start to think of the past again.flashback...haha...i still remember we went out one night.my fren called and my mum nearly got to know i went out with you.i din really lie,i did went out with my fren but she left early.then we went makan at restoran mamamia.those happy moments still very fresh on my mind.i dun know why i always hang on to the past.i know it is time to move on but each time i back to my hometown,everything came back.not only you but other people as well.people that i once love and gone from my life now,great frens that i have make and still keep in touch but there is a distance.i remember every single of them clearly,every single thing we do together,every detail is still on my mind.i guess it is a memory i cant erase.yesterday was one of my fren's birthday and i send an sms to her.this fren of mine is once my very best fren.she said she was happy that i wish her.i ask myself when i saw those words.do i really mean to wish her?i really dun know.i only start to think the betrayal of her.well,i remember very clearly.our friendship start to deteoriate the day your "lalat" came into your life.i dont really mind that.its not my bussiness.but i guess everything change between us when we were in form 3.you promised that you will sit next to me.km ask me to sit with her but because of you,i din sit with her.when i think back,its kind of silly cos i was very happy sitting next to km when i was in form 2.but i never think that because of benefit of yourself,you din sit next to me,instead you sat next to sy.i cried so much at night,telling my parents and worst is my parents told me you cant be trusted.at that time,i still defend you and refuse to accept the truth.my feelings were really hurt and not to mention the problem i face after that.because of you,i have to sit next to jl and ct start to hate me because she want to sit next to jl.really have a miserable time and who should i thank for that?you?the problem between us doesnt end there.during form 4,i was forced to sit next to you and you open my bag without my permission.i guess our so called "best fren" relationship end there.you ask me all the reason but i never tell you frankly what exactly happen because i do not know how to tell you.well,you have your own life and i have my own.i learn not to trust my fren and i dun give priority to my frens because of this.so,do i really mean to wish you birthday?i think i dun owe you anything anymore.i have been keeping this in my heart for few years.its good to let it out.i know i have make a lot of mistakes in life.i will try my best to be a better person.just give me some time.strive hard for the best!

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