Christmas!

Kindly take note the pics is to cheer everything up.

depressed

Just when I think that everything is going to be ok, things start to get worse. Timing not right somemore, mum undergoing cataract operation, nephew admitted to hospital and I cant bother my family on my problems.Not really problem but my sadness and dissatisfication . As usual, I tried to comfort myself by telling that I am lucky compare to those contract not extended. I do not need to go for probation period.Haih...Well, I have to admit, I should be thankful. Got secured job now, salary although little but still can survive, family and frens that really care about me and there whenever I need them. Need to relax! Dun think so much, jo, just let it go!Will be going back hometown this Thursday...Cant wait!

its going to be end of 2009 soon

Yup, it is already Dec 2009 and time to reflect back what has been done this year. Luck was not on me this year especially from starting of the year till my birthday. So many misfortune events happen.Perhaps we will think of what we have achieved this year. Basically in terms of work, not much achievement for me in terms of technical knowledge. I am still extreme lagging behind compare to other tele engineers out there. Been working for one year plus and I feel myself still like a fresh grad only. Besides work, family....lots of arguements throughout the year especially with my younger sis. Perhaps the way I handle things is still not matured enough causing all this arguments. In terms of frens, I think still ok. Social life not that good....anti social mah....I got to know a lot of new frens too this year compare back to my uni days.Well, another two weeks plus will be christmas.Well,my christmas present budget will be cut cut cut down this year. Last year, I overspend a bit and this year, presents are only for closed ones. Frens will be out of the list. Nyek Nyek, thats why I got extra money to buy a new Reebok shoe plus some cosmetics.Bought a cake mixer for my mum and she is extreme happy about it. Ok, lets go to my wish list and see there is any changes. Will update my resolution for year 2010 soon

Wish list
1. change HP(wanna buy Samsung brand one)- Er, I think I will be getting my RM1000 mobile voucher next year...)
2. decorate my Ipoh room- my younger sis finally clean the room so I just need to decorate it a bit, previously, was freaking messy
3. a raise in my salary(damn low, work like hell only)-still waiting
4. more bonus(again,it is money)- got my quarterly bonus....
5. wanna see my niece(wai yan) more often- she still very far away
6. a better job and company..- cant find...:(
7. to own a house - long term dream which I dun think I can achieve even in 2010
8. money again to buy amanah saham malaysia so that I can make profit- still not enough yet and no more amanah saham release now....
9. last but not least...a good husband(haha, aiyoh, no bf already wish husband...kengleh)-er..uncertain on this

my beloved niece

thats my beloved niece, wai yan. although naughty a bit, i still love her a lot. wish to blog more but lazy and sleepy liao

Birthday 2009

Wow, how time flies. Yea, i am 24 years old already. I feel myself still young compare to others,he he. This year birthday , not a very good one.The pre birthday celebration in ipoh din really went that well due to some reasons.Was planning to have a nice dinner with my whole family but ended up,it was cancel. Initially, I was also planning to wear a nice dress also to take pics. Due to no mood already, ended up, I was wearing T- SHIRT only when I cut cake. I not going to talk about the bad things that happen here.One of the special thing this year is the cake, unlike the usual years, I normally will have a liking to chocolate cakes only but this year, my daddy manage to find a tiramisu cake for me.Thanks , daddy!
As for the presents, not much this year. Got a scarf from my elder sis(she cut my birthday budget already..haih). In summary, pics tell everything.He he...

life is like a stage...we are all actors and actress

refer to title above, thats what i feel about life. currently, i am living in a state of denial. When i feel scared, i keep telling those around me that I am ok.when I found that I miss someone, I told myself that I just being too lonely, when I am worried, I try to comfort myself that things will be better soon. Yes, I found myself a bit pathetic. There are so many things i keep to myself just to make sure the other party doesnt get hurt.Deep inside, I really want to voice everything out but the reality prohibit me from doing that. Ended up, I wrote here. This blog is just a way for me to rant here about everything.Music is my life and so is this blog.I feel tired of mentioning about my work here as it is getting duller and less interesting day by day. I lost my passion in working. The reason I work is because of money and to survive.thats all...

Ok, what I want to mention here is about kids. They are pretty troublesome. Well, lots of people got the concept" i like kids" as most of the kids love me and like me around. Yes, I do like kids for short time. Not long period by taking care of them for more than 1 week.My concept is "dun want to have much kids...most is 2..." That also if I got married only. Dun want to become "yellow lady". Kids are money sucker( like me lah).Leech that never want to leave you.

Oh yea, my dog was pretty sick last week. I seriously thought that he will leave me. It is really sad to see someone/something that you love left you. I felt this kind of pain six years ago and I hate to go through that again. Well, my dog pretty old and it is time to go soon. Took leave and told myself "if got fate, he will wait till i back home". i pray to god too as he is the last person that you can come to when other things doesnt help at all. I thank god for hearing my prayers as my dog was getting well after that.Thank you , for giving me more time with scottie. oOPSS...its getting late. Need to sleep soon as tomorrow will be another busy day!

Moven peak, RPGC

Yes, this is my latest hair style...A bit weird at the front...Wish my hair can grow longer.

new member of the family again!

Yes, I got a nephew on 11 Sept 2009. His name is Leong Wai Lik, but I prefer to call him Jordan.Like all babies, he love to cry and shit a lot. Most of the time, he will sleep only. Super cute( like his auntie mah...)Due I scared my cam's flash will hurt his eyes, therefore I just manage to snap pic of him when he sleeps.

work

short post ....seriously heavy loaded with work. Wonder when I will be so free in the office till I got nothing to do?Never...either I delay my work, there is always so much work. Haih...I hate working life.

the past, the present and the future

Well, finally i have time to blog.I am back from PD-MLK trip. In short, I had a great weekend.This blog of mine is the place where I will be myself and speak whatsoever inside my heart. how old am i?Soon to be 24 but looking back, I have gone through a lot. From happiness, my darkest part...shame...sadness...heartbroken.Yes, I think I have grown a lot. I no longer the small kid I used to be, the one that always play in Ipoh Garden East playground, refuse to study till my mum beat me up or the one that ran away from home, I have changed from being a cheerful, friendly kid into someone who keep quiet all the time with a lot of things to think about. I miss my childhood times but time will never stop ticking.Yes, some of you might call me a "freak" also as I am someone who always put a sour face and not friendly.Have you ever lost someone? Lost as if u no longer can see that person or no longer frens with that fella. Being a "freak", I have go through that.If you notice in my blog, I sort of having a virtual war with another blogger till I stop everything. This blogger is not that important to me so the impact to me is minor but I did lost a fren before. It is not because we have argument, it is because of other reason. I have lost in touch with this person which I hope I can see him someday , that also if I can still recognise him.One of my happiest time is all my fellow frens being together, spend time at shopping mall, watch movies in cinema...no worries . This frens of mine , I manage to keep in touch with some of them but things will never be the same. Another significant fren of mine which I mention here many times liao, I have a dream on "you". You were so happy and you told me that. It was such a wonderful dream that I woke up laughing to myself. This fren of mine is very important to me and he has gone through a lot. When u really care on someone, u only wish him to be happy and I really happy for him for living happily now and put down the past.Well, that is only 20% of my past, the present for now. What hurt the most is the one you care and love treat you the same way as others. The pain is really unbearable but perhaps i am really stupid. Each time, I just told myself, that person is different ....lying to myself. sometimes, my feelings cover up my rational thinking.I got so confused sometimes. a lot of people telling me that it is time to let go.I tried to...but it is really hard. The last time I have this kind of scenerio, it took me 3 years...ok, enough.The future...yes, i am going for an interview next Friday.I need to gain more experience in interview so just want to try out. Slim chance for the company to hire me but I wanna overcome my interview fear.Yes, i always nervous and forgot everything each time I go for interview for job. I admit I am useless in this. Hopefully, this will help me. My future in my current company is undecided. Not sure how is my career path and I kind of lost. My parents is very encouraging type and support me whatever I do. A lot of people look down on me, I dont blame them as I ,myself feel I am useless but I wont give up. I still young,still got time to learn...

PD-MLK Trip soon!

Well, it is lunch time now so I think I will use up some time to blog here. Eh, dun get wrong that I using office hours woh, lunch time, I am free to do whatever I like. Nope, I wont feel guilty at all as I have dedicated and committed to my job. I work till 730 pm yesterday to do my partner's work, Yes, you heard it right, it is not even my task and yet I still do as this is teamwork.There will never be a hour where I am free and have nothing to do(yea, i am that busy). Most of the time,I multitasking. Enough of work!Kindly refer to my title, I am going to PD this sat,hooray!Of course with the ones I love the most . Due to PD,not much stuff, we decide to pay a visit to the historical city on Sunday. Yes, this historical city is none other than MALACCA ,the place I have stay for five years(really a long time).FYI,I will be the one organising the agenda of this trip and also the driver(yes,it is me me me....it is time for a filial daughter to bring her mummy and daddy and my beloved sis around mlk)I am so going to look forward to this trip. Best thing is I even took leave on Monday as I will only back to KL on Monday.Away from work, spending time with loved ones, what more is better? I need a break from work, yes, i do..as work is do damn stressful with annoying account manager chasing after u, or e mails from SMC, or your manager chasing you to help him do something..sien...I have tied up my room a bit, it looks neat and tidy and very cosy for me.Sad thing, my room in Ipoh is in a mess thanks to my younger sis( I feel like strangle her when i think of this). I want to decorate my room also hard. Ended up, it is kind of dusty too as six years I have left my home..till now, it is true i always go home but I seldom go inside my room also.Yes, u are right, I will sleep in my parent's room. Different bed of course. Btw, I would like to update my wish list here.


Wish list
1. change HP(wanna buy Samsung brand one)
2. decorate my Ipoh room
3. a raise in my salary(damn low, work like hell only)
4. more bonus(again,it is money)
5. wanna see my niece(wai yan) more often
6. a better job and company..
7. to own a house
8. money again to buy amanah saham malaysia so that I can make profit
9. last but not least...a good husband(haha, aiyoh, no bf already wish husband...kengleh)


Already fulfill wish list
1. Bought new car(yes, it is my darling Persona)
2. New camera with 12 megapixel
3. Laptop( company's one is enough loh)
4. Air cond room so that I wont feel hot compare to student's life
5. Frens that is nearby and can keep in touch
6. A pink Nike shoe(finally own one)
7. A pink branded watch(bought Elle)
8. A pink bag ( Elle Active sling bag)

Smiley

Yup, as what the title says, I have changed my hamster's name from "willy" to "smiley" since end of March till now.I suppose to upload a lot of pics here of smiley and also my darling ,persona but seriously, I dont have time. Yes, time is never enough. Always busy with work nowadays and no time to update blog also. I changed my hamster's name as from the day smiley step into my home( yes, it is home means my ipoh houselar...it is my only home), my dad keep on calling him smiley but after a while, I decided to call him "smiley" and he likes that name too. He is one very naughty hamster.Only like to eat "kuaci", others dun want. Always wasteful so I got no choice but starve him a bit.He he. Active at night and likes to bathe.Yes, he has a bath tube with the sand and he likes to lie down on his bath tub. Oklah, enough of smiley.
Work piling up as usual. Not going to elaborate as I not that happy with my job scope but needs money, so no choice. Went back home two weeks ago and this time, I bought a nice cloth and ask the tailor to help me make a evening gown(short length) this time for my "not so formal" wedding/event to attend. Yes, I got no choice but to ask tailor to make for me as I am very short and fat. Hard to buy one that can fit me perfectly. Some fits but I look like humpty dumpty. Life has been great. I met my exschoolmates and had a great time last Friday. Went swimming on Sunday. What I like the most is being able to do things that I enjoy!

At Nadiah's wedding with frens

A day with my beloved family...

Me and my mummy
Me and daddy

one of the down part of my life

Well, unlucky for me and being careless,less than a week driving my new car, i was involve in accident.so many unfortunate things happen.luckily, my relative help me by borrowing his car to me to go to work while my car remain in the workshop for few days. haih, life was like hell, i keep blaming myself, my beloved parents din scold me causing me to feel extremely guilty. I have no idea how much I have cried that week.I know some of you might say I am childish but I cant hold back my tears. On sunday night, i keep recalling the accident.On Monday, I was like zombie, luckily I got training that day.Anyway,thank god everything is ok now but my budget for this months has become extremely tight. Well, there are so many things happen,I not going to mention it here but seriously, I felt really hurt. Hurt by someone who hardly cares for me,someone will only come to me when he needs help. Yes, right now, I can even tell I have confused my feelings with the truth. The truth is this person never care for me, each time, I was overshadow by my own feelings,telling myself that he is a good person. I cant have everything in life. I start to count my blessings, new car, my house is very new, a very beautiful room with my own bathroom,a job and a family that cares me a lot. I am very fortunate compare to other people. My colleague said "I live in my own world"(due to I put on my earphones all the time). I dont see anything wrong, most importantly, it doesnt affect my performance. My social life in work might be less but at least I in good terms with everyone, I do not need to stick with one group all the time. Most importantly, I am happy,that is all matters,right? I kind of miss my daddy and mummy,taking one day leave to visit them this weekend.Cant wait to spend time with my family,nothings matters anymore than my family....

New life

Yes, i finally drove back my new car here.Really happy. Been decorating it last weekend. I will upload photos of it soon. Kind of lazy to write here as I been really busy. Work load is heavy but I will try my best to cope up with it. My performance evaluation has been done by my manager and it is good. My rating is ok. Although I still not that happy on my job position now, but I just have to accept it happily. FYI, I have been trying really hard on that, making myself happy. Well, I would like to thank my exschoolmate for being there to listen, I know i kind of annoying . Thanks for understanding, Thanks for telling me what is on your mind, thanks for being a true fren,thanks for everything, MK. Unlike others, listen to my complaint and nagging, and cursing me behind my back. Well, what I want to say, if I call and sms you, that means I really need someone and I not doing it just for fun. Those who cant understand the situition or the challenges I face,dun worry, though I am a bit slow in digging people's mind out, when I realised, I wont disturb or in simple words, I totally ignore this kind of fren.It is enough to have one good fren,rather than hundred and millions of fake frens. Currently, I kind of happy. I spend time with my niece, do not have financial problem, I got enough space for myself to breathe at work, I no longer need to face the people I dislike.Yes, I am happy.

Ups and Downs

Din update for one month. Cant believe how time flies. A lot has been happening till I cant remember much as memory not good. Well,
fyi, I have bought a new camera,yes, after 5 years, i finally can afford to buy a new camera but unfortunely,till now,I
havent really use it yet.Yup, 12 megapixel, it has ....Amazing,right?I took few pics but will upload soon.Stay tuned!I had a wonderful dinner
with a good fren during his birthday and watched "race to witch mountain".It was a wonderful evening,chatting and laughing.
Indeed,i feel happy that you are around.I love to see you smiling and joke around. It is indeed enough to have you around...in mandarin,
"chu kao" .Oh yea, another significant day is when my ipoh fren ,Joanne came down to visit me.It feels so nice to see your exschoolmates and hanging
around together gossiping , updating each other on our latest news , so relaxing after a stressful week of work.
Words cant express how happy I was on that Sat.Well, life has ups and downs.Well, I got skin allergic last week. I so scared
to look at myself when those stupid red spots on my body.I have to take medicine and cant even eat my favourite beef
or prawns.Once eat,those rashes will come out and worse still,my face also got,causing me to feel not
comfortable.It is suppose to be a wonderful weekend, spending time with my beloved mum who came all the way to Shah Alam to visit me.
Besides my skin allergic,I had a nice weekend with my mum.i took her to Dino Plaza and she was amazed with the method to eat the food and we
went Sushi Zanmai in One Utama.I had to be careful with the food I eat though.We chat alot. Well, my mum said
I have change a lot due to my working environment ,causing me not to be as cheerful like last time. I told her"no, I am fine" but tears
start to flow down my cheeks.I cant tell her what I have been through ,the sadness that is inside me as I dont want her to worry.
Well,there is one touching scene last Sunday where I went to toilet in One U, there was a korean fair , I was busy looking for my mum,at last Ifound her
U know what I saw? I saw my mum Q up in the counter.It was a long Q.Before that, there is this promoter came to us promoting some kind of drink which cost RM35 a bottle
I told my mum I dun want as it is so expensive. Well,my mum was Q up to buy two bottles for me.I knew how she hate to Q up BUT because
of her love towards me and also due to my health not good, she willing to take out the money. I was really touched.
Yes, indeed in this world, your parents love u the most .Well, I told myself , I shouldnt dissapoint my parents and love,appreciate them as much as I can
as life is short.

its all coming back to me now

ell, i finally finish tidying up my room now.....not the one at home but the one at shah alam. the room has been messy since last year
and this weekend only i manage to find the time to tidy it up. Well, the great news is that I finally fully recover from
some sickness which some of my frens might know about and i think even my colleagues notice it too as I went to see doctors more than once
during lunch time for the past two months. Yes, for the past two months, my health has been deteriorating a lot with fever,cough,flu and many other things.
Well, it could be probably someone cursing me.....well,i was really scared that i might die as if my condition become worse,i might
need to go for scan,ultrasound and etc. In summary, i am ok after my mum spend some money at Eu Yen Sang and I am alright now. Hehe.
There are still many things I want to do.
Been thinking a lot lately.I have a strange and funny dream lately and it was so funny that I ended up laughing when I woke up.
Well, I have been working for around 9 months now that I start to miss uni life.I miss my MMU frens though I do have a hard time
to adapt to the environment.Well, there are a few memories that still very fresh on my mind. The reason is that I sort of experiencing the same
situition now . That is I am all alone but dun get me wrong, I still have lots of frens here, just that I feel a bit lonely. I still
remember during my first year in MMU, i met few frens which I can really get along with. Was really sad when most of them went cyber during the beta year. Anyway,
during my beta year, I was really happy as there is someone(I not going to mention name here) that is always around me.We did a lot of things together from
eating lunch,dinner,supper together. My heart sort of broken when this person left MelSsaka.During my beta year also, I
have a very nice coursemate from my hometown that is always there whenever I need someone to talk to or help me with assignment.I still remember in year 2006(world cup),
"you" came all the way to visit me in Melaka.There are so many things that cant even describe in words but I finally manager to forget about "you"
during my first sem in my final year.For final year, was busy with fyp plus i think the most remarkable event is prom.It is an event
where everyone will dress in their best together with their partner.Although i Was tired by trying to finish up my fyp report, I was really happy that night.After that,
with final exam(the very final one in MMU), everyone went to their own path.My path was into the telecommunication industry
which I never regret because I have learn a lot and I am still in the process of learning. I was amazed with the technicalknowledge my seniors had and I wish
someday, I can reached the level where i know in detail all about telecommunications.My tehcnical knowledge now is only 5% and I hope to gain more.Some of my coursemates
venture into electronics industry. Well, everyone got their own dreams and some even took the road less travelled by. Whatever it is , to me, everyone got their own potential.
Well, my memories not only limited to my uni life but also my school life.Unfortunely, those sad memories I had in school
came back to me yesterday.I do happy happy memories too but those sad memories still haunt me. I think I have let go one year ago but I was so wrong.Hmmm...
how long already those sad memories happen?Time pass really fast.I was in form 4 that time, that makes it 8 years ago.8 years have pass
but I still remember very clearly those people that give me a hard time(some even migrated to US)
Every single detail still very fresh on my mind.
I know I should have just let it go but it is so hard.Sometimes i think god is helping me,u know why? Because the devil that is hidden inside me wants me to get revenge
on those people that have bully me , those that have mentally torture me and not even once, i bump to them after I finish my form 5. Aiks....I feel a bit tired already
.There are so many things I want to write down but unfortunely,time doesnt allow me.niTEZ!

Finally things start to brighten up a bit(work)..

Things are getting a little bit better at work today.V day was ok.Had a great dinner and I watch few good movies and read some books.
I got a wake up call on sunday from a good friend. Had a great chat with this good fren of mine.He told me things will get better and indeed it has.
Thanks!Workload is getting heavier day by day. I have received some news that things should be getting worse for me in terms of my job.Not that happy as my technical knowledge limited
due to doing the same thing everyday. I try to look at the positive side.
In the meantime, I will try my best to cope up with the heavy workload.Well, for those of you who are unaware of Digi latest update, we will be launching 3G end of this month.
.
Been really sad since last Thursday.Having trouble in sleeping also.If u are close fren of mine, u probably should know what have happen.
Well, I need some time to recover from the sadness.It is hard to forget someone...I need some time to treat that person as a very normal fren.I dont really know how to face him also. Of course on the
outside, we are fine.Just that inside my heart, it is hard to accept the truth.The last time I try to forgot V, it took me four years....I cant wait to go back Ipoh
Need family by my side so that I wont think so much.aWell,there are somegood news, I will be having another nephew/niece soon this year!...Happie!