A cold Thursday morning

It is me again.Been stressful nowadays. No wonder the amount of white hair on my head has doubled up. A lot
is on my mind. Especially work work and work. How am I going to meet my kpi this year? The stress on baby also the same.
Mum keep nagging and pushing me to do the laproscopy ovarian drilling.I feel alone as if I am the only one left in
this world each time I need to face this kind of issue. It is indeed mental torturing. Is it not having children
is the end? No, it isnt. I have many other things to settle. I know mum is worried but I am sorry, this is beyond my control.
If you were in my shoes, u will know how hard it is for me to accept the fact, I can never have kids.
My hubby feels the same as well with all the questions from his frens and colleagues. I dont want to give him
a hard time , it is like adding salt in the wound.no matter what happens, as long as we have each other, i think
it is enough.Recently, I get to know the value of money better. What is money? I never felt so poor in my life.
Well the reality hits me. When you dont have money,each cent counts and you need to think twice before you buy something.
I sometimes feel sad when I think of myself reaching the age of 50 years old. Without money, how to survive?
What if I am sick, like diabetes, hypertension? I dont even have children that can look after me, or someone who call me.This kind of thoughts
will bring tears to my eyes.It was even more painful when I tot of my hubby. I always tell my mum, we are consider lucky. How many people are there
who has children but the children is far away and they dun even have money. This is where the importance of money comes to me.
When we are young, we can make money as people will hire, but what happens when you are old? You wont be able to make money.
Each and everyone of us will grow old.I have seen old aunties selling biscuit just to survive.Pityful. Luck wasnt on their side.
Children nowadays tend to forget their parents, where their roots come from.I see children scolding their parents just because the parents doesnt have money.Imagine if someday
your children scold u, yet this ungrateful children never put their shoes in the parents.I am not saying I am perfect either, I will try my very best.
I feel I have not done enough, not enough for my daddy. The memories is still very fresh on my mind.It was father's day.
I went back to my hometown one week before Father's day and I did treat my dad a nice meal at Jusco Station 18. It never occur to me, it was my last meal with my dad.
On the week which is the exact Father's day, I din go back. My elder sis and her family went home and when I call my dad, he was asking me to go back along with my sis.
I was tired, thus I told him, I need to spend time with hubby too since I already went back Ipoh previously.I didnt know that it was my last chance to see my daddy.
Learning from this, no matter how difficult my mum is, I tried to be patient. Although I m not earning much, I bring her to nice food, travelling to short trips as her leg
still not yet fully recovered.
I still give money to her every month, its not much but enough to make her happy. Even when my dad is alive, I do give money to him monthly also just to make him happy.
Will be bringing my mum to Singapore soon in Oct. I feel we as children must do our part, doesnt mean your parents has a lot of money, children can take advantage.
Its not the amount of money, but old people feel happy when children give them money.I have seen children abandon their parents,some even work as a gynae in Singapore.
Pity the mother that has raise up a gynae, but end up alone. Its sad to see such scenerio, it reminds me not to be like this kind of people. Earning a lot but whats the point?
So, please be nice to your parents while they are still alive. We never know when someday they will just leave without saying goodbye.
To my daddy, although I din do my best, but at least, I have bring you to go hols,makan makan and those memories will always be in my mind.

Dreaming of the land of "sarang hae yo"

From TVB, i already switch to Korean drama since early of this year. Its not only that, along the way with my
Korean drama, I even began to admire Korean stars. Above is one of the stars I admire the most.He is no other
than the Asia Prince, Jang Keun Suk. Being an actor for more than 20 years, I feel he is different from others
Previously, I do like Lee Min Ho and also Kim Soo Hyun but JKS is definitely different. What attracts me is his voice
. I downloaded all his songs and I even bought his latest album online to support him.
What so special about him? To me, he is a very hardworking star compare to others.
Although he is busy with his singing career, he is still active as an actor with acting in a drama once a year.
Besides that, singing and acting is not only his task, he is also involved in his web radio, zikzin radio.
I listened to it and can feel his way of thinking on a lot of topics is very mature and his attractive voice
capture my heart as well.Although there was a lot of rumours for the last 4 years, as he is a bit wild during
Team H party, I believe everyone got their evil side but as long as we saw the positive side, it is enough.
Will always support him and looking forward to his next drama.

Wonderful Memories

Feel a bit emo today.Although I always act strong in front, but deep inside, I am just a normal human. Two years has passed since my beloved daddy left.Hanging on there, I told myself but I just feel tired nowadays Its not that I gave up , just want to have a break so that I can recharge myself. Sometimes I will think of a fren, wonder where he is now. Perhaps married with children?Memories...they are so precious.Each time I hear Leo Ku's song,love and honesty, I will think of him. I remember the time we spend together, it was one of the happiest time of my life, no worries, just me and you in that small office. You know I like Leo Ku song, you will sing it for me and purposely,on the song on your hp. I will forever remember your face that time..Although we no longer contact each other, I still thankful to have such a wonderful memories. It is true frens come and go but the frens I made along the way , they are always on my mind(unless I nyanyuk one day)