sad sad....

haih,i have no idea why i feel sad.just dun feel happy.i dun want to lie to myself anymore."you" really broke my heart.your face appear on my mind only and i cant stop thinking about "you".i remember every single thing very clearly."you " were always there when i need "you".i try to delete " you" from my life but it is hard.besides that,i always tot of sk too.i still remember the first time i saw you,you give me a impression that you are a proud person.there were a lot of girl adore you because you are so handsome but a little bit short.but as i get to know you well,you are very nice and not proud at all.i love your big eyes and your smile.i enjoy talking to you.and your hp number almost same as mine.thanks for giving such wonderful memories.in my life,i come across a few good frens and one of them is you (lkm).though now we no longer keep in touch and i have no idea what happen between you ,and ch and yp but i never forget the moments we spend together.your jokes always on my mind.i still remember the day we work together which is on 19 jan 2003.from going to hair saloon with yp ,shopping together in ipoh parade,watch movie in jj ,those memories will remain in my heart forever.another person who came across my life is "you"(dun want to mention name here..hehe)i still remember how i know you.online...yeah...the power of icq that time.we always chat and chat almost about everything.i feel i really know you well though i never meet you before.i like your characteristics.you have your own opinion and never follow with the flow.and one thing that amazed me is you are not two faced.whatever you dun like,you just say it out unlike some people that will treat you nice though they dun like you.i still remember the time you scold me.all my life,no one except my parents scold me in such a way.scold by teachers and etc ,of course gotlah.and you are just so damn honest.i like you for who you are and not what you did.though we are not close,deep inside my heart,you were always a good person.someone who have strong believe in your faith and that is good.i am really tired already...enough for now....

me again.....so messylah my room..haha 

me in my room in melaka...hehe.... 

ooopppsss..upside down..haha...thats my house fridge..new one...courtesy by my daddy...fuiyoh,no more complain from my mummy anymore!best present for the year! 

anger

i never felt so angry in life.....really hate "you".get out of my life.all my life,i never felt this way before.i always get angry with people but this time,it is really different.in other words,i feel really stupid.i always tot i can handle things but this time obviously things went out of control of my hands.feel really hurt and i seriously, need some time to recover.it takes time,i told myself.i realise all this while,i have been lying to myself.i told myself,it is not like that,i refuse to accept the fact,but since last night,i determine to let go and forget about you.i need to go on with my life but you are not visible anymore in my journey.i have learned my lesson in a hard way.along my journey this time,i wont let anyone like" you " to enter my life anymore.really cant take it anymore.i dun want to keep everything in my heart as i will end up depression therefore decided to write it here.do not wish to elaborate on this matter anymore as it is to painful to write it in words.farewell to " you".

chinese new year

happy chinese new year,everyone!wish everyone have a year of happiness and prosperity.new sem have started and i have determinations to do well this sem.really need to improve my cgpa so that i wont feel uncomfortable each time i see my academic advisor.haha...that fella really freaks me out.now eating nestle fitness for lunch..wanna know why?i really need to keep fit already.very fat after chinese new year.there are few events that will happen in my life and i think the most important event of the year is the marriage of my elder sis to mr leong kean heng.i damn surprised when was told the good news.no comment on it as it is her life and i have no right to interfere.she ask me to be her brides maid.dangerous....brides maid are meant to stay as spinster...haha...or the next one to get married...haha..i dun believe such thing lah.the wedding is end of this year which should be in december.the date havent confirm yet.i just cant believe my sis getting married cos in my opinion,it is very early to settle down at her age.my mum really worried i will be "sit jo lah"(spinster).haha...always ask me i got bf or not then bring back homelah....haha....currently,i dun have anyone or any candidate in my mind.i try to enjoy to the fullest without finding trouble.after some bad experience last sem,i really do not find trouble that will distract my studies.about my studies,i did mention here,i failed my analog midterm and luckily i manage to do ok in my final and got a b+ for that subject.i learned my lesson and i wont let anyone distract my mind from my studies.i do not wish to waste people's time also therefore i have speak out my mind to "you"(you know who you are).really sorry if i hurt your feelings but i am sure you understand.just glad to know you and i hope we can be frens.will find you once i back to ipoh.haha....anyway,i receive some bad news yesterday.my sis told me my dad din feel well.i damn scared when she mention my dad feel pain in the heart.my grandpa died of heart attack and this disease is inheritance one.daddy,do not leave cos i cant live without you and mummy(thats what come across my mind).then she told me dad was ok after see doctor(fuiyoh...so glad)aiks...gtg already...got class seeya...

me in my living room 

me and mummy...happy birthday,mummy! 

mummy,me and big sis 

mummy and daddy 

aiks...what happen to fern's face?haha...half liao.... 

fern and feli.....eating fries and burger.. 

another version... 

three of us together... 

both of us again...my hair nice? 

feli and me.....hmm..my hair colour nicer,right?eee...perasannya me..haha 

hehe.....me and fern...at A&W... 

yes! exam finish at last.din do that well,lost quite some marks...just hope i will pass and maintained my cgpa.ok,enough of exams...now is the time to think about chinese new year.erm..just bought a orange shirt during the last time i went mp for chronicles of narnia.definitely,need to buy somemore to match the shirt...a jeans skirt maybe...and shoes..yea,i need shoes.my mum dun really like me to buy high heel shoes..she said i seldom wear..waste of money.i realise i dun have much shoes...only got a few high heels.definitely gonna buy if i found one suitable one..hehe..have to buy a present for mummy too.hmm...gonna spend a lot of money i guess.kind of miss ipoh,wanna go back home.oh yea...daddy finally bought a new fridge.mummy been complaining for few years and he cant take it anymore so gonna buy a new one which is much bigger.chinese new year coming and i am really looking forward to itcant wait to see my frens.oh yea..i straighten my hair.cost me about rm190.so far,no one said i look worse than before .just want a change for the new year.nah....dun get me wrong,i dun do it for someone or attract people or whatsoever.it is just that i wanna make changes only.thats all.currently,not interested in anyone.just wanna concentrate on studies and be happy.dun want to get involved with anything,had enough of it.for now,it is studies on my mind.getting old day by day and my way of thinking kind of change compare to last time when i was younger.i always tot of things in very simple way,such as as long as you like that fella,just go ahead, but as a grew older,i reliase,it is not that simple.a lot of things have to consider such as family background,age,education,interest and etc.maybe cos my way of thinking cause me to be still single and available.hehehe..my mum said i will "sit cho lah"if i continue think like that...haha...tired already....gtg now...tata~

fuiyoh,almost one month din post anything.hehe...well,happy new year 2006! another year has passed and i got to admit year 2005 was a remarkable year for me.though there are moments that i feel down but i guess thats life,right?ups and downs like a roller coaster.one of my favourite hobbies is watching movies,and this year,in my opnion,one of the movies that give some impact on me is the chronicles of narnia.too bad for those of you who din watch it.the character that amaze me the most if the mighty aslan(the lion).i guess i should refer aslan as "he" as it is obvious,is a male lion.he was really great and wise.his willing to sacrifice for others have really touch my heart and the moment his fur was shaved ,there are tears in my eyes.i have no idea why but i just feel sad because the fur represents the mightiness of a lion as a king.another great movie at the end of year 2005 is harry potter and the goblet of fire.though the movie din follow much from jk rowling's book,it was still a great movie.as for king kong,somehow,i feel quite dissapointed.the movie was dragged away and it starts to bored me.of course the climax is when kong fight with 3 t rex.kind of touching when kong and ann went ice skating before ambushed by the army.ok,enough about movies...hmm...i hope this year 2006 will be a great year for me.lots of resolution on mind.1st one,is wish my parents health are good and then hopefully can get good results in my exam and thirdly,hope my younger sis will grow up and think mature.she still like a little girl and blur blur.little monster of the family.oklah,gtg now cos need to study liao!

its complicated

i think i din blog for quite some time.few events happen in my life of course.firstly,is about my family.i dun want to talk much about it cos it is not something to be proud of.sometimes,i just dun understand why she is not satisfied.everything also went well.graduated and then get a good job.got a car to drive here and there.even in uni times also got car.what more you want?now,want to own a house and car when you only work for less than a year.isnt that too ambitious?and you do not want to take out own money.want so much things in life but yet you are so stingy.you are jealous of me,aint you?what have i got compare to you?looks?nah..i am damn ugly,brains?u are definitely better than me.height?u are so much taller than me.love?you have all the love you want.i only got the love of my parents.haih...sometimes,i just dun understand.did you know i am jealous of you?and your presence makes me feel that i am nothing compare to you?did you know that?no,i dun think you will understand.all you know is money and i take all the things you want and the truth is you are the one doing that.blood is thicker than water.there is nothing i can do but to accept you as you are.exam coming soon,have to prepare .i wanna do well this sem.gtg now.seeya