I must say it has been a year of ups and downs.Many will think that facing miscarriage most probably was the most
down part of my life this year. I admit, it was not easy and I cried so much to sleep but the most hurtful part was
the one you love,sort of going against you.In just one day, I cried more than 5 times in front of my mum. Now that I think of it, I acting immature and I am making my mum to worry over me.I told myself , no more. No more tolerating with my selfish father in law, his siblings. They have pass over my limit.Enough is enough.My resolution for next year will be handling my in laws family in a more mature way without giving them a single chance to take advantage of me and Teh. My hubby being too kind hearted. I rather donate the money for charity than give them.Although it is difficult to accept the truth that we maybe/might never have children, I still hold on to the hope.Well, the positive milestone that was achieved this year was rented our my Mlk house. One burden less on my shoulder. Work has been very very stressful this year. My health deteriorate a lot. My pressure went up to 170/110 last month. Doc forced me to take medicine. No choice. My mum was sad to hear this. I feel down too as I am so young, the fact of eating medicine till my last breath. With this hypertension, its even a slim chance I can have a healthy baby. I cried for few nights on this but I told myself, I need to be strong.I still have a lot of things to achieve other than having a kid. It gets worse when you see your friends in fb having their own kid and you cant. I even read one article where this lady sort of delete her fb due to the stress of seeing others posting on their kids/babies. Nah, I not going to do that. I always believe, no matter what, we should be always happy for others. Yes, we do envy but having infertility issue is not other people's fault so the act of deleting your fb is just not right to me. New year, new resolutions and here is my resolution for the year 2016.
1) not to lose hope on having a kid
2)Stay positive at all times.Smile and laugh more next year(Since this year, tears has been flowing non stop)
3)Increment of my salary(it has been way too low for the past 3 years)
4)Travel to Korea end of the year
5) Get another bigger lego set for myself (Something that will cost rm200 and above?)
6)Dealing with my in laws family in a more mature way.
7)Spending more time with my mum,siblings, nephew and niece
8)Good health (no high cholesterol, BP ok with medicine, uric asid ok-yes, I need to exercise more and more)
9)This is a bit silly, I only dream about my dad once. Can my beloved daddy come to my dream again? I miss him a lot and have lots to tell him.
10)To have a good relationship with my hubby.He is good to me and we always in good terms except the part involving his family.
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