the feeling of giving up ...

haih,i have no idea why i have this kind of feeling.it is not the feeling of giving up life but studies...hmm...i wonder why i have such feeling?probably this is because something is bothering my mind.this should't have happen because i purposely didn't went back to ipoh so that i can study and do well in the finals instead i found that i have waste lots of time chatting ,watching movie and checking forums.Each time I open my notes or textbook to read,my mind wont be there at all and instead it already wonder to my pc which is next to me.My fren,irene has study a lot compare to me eventhough she went back to terengganu(have the concept that cant study when you are home).When she told me what she have study,it makes me feel down and guilty for wasting a lot of time.maybe i should take that as an inspiration to study.i have really one bad attitude which is i will still relax and fool around eventhough exam is very near and left everything to study at the very last minute.i think this explains why i cant do that well or my best in my exams.Frankly speaking,i am a bit tired of those people that have high expectations on me.this is because i am so afraid to let them down.i admit i do have achievements in my academic but it doesnt mean i will do well all the time.My frens look high on me and said i am smart or hardworking...blah blah...which the truth is i am not what they think i am.i am just an ordinary girl with a normal brain like any other.I do not think myself as smart instead i feel that i am damn stupid and lazy.There are a lot of silly stuff i have done in the past.i just feel that i am so damn stupid and can never do well.last semester before my result is out,i was kind of paranoid about it..keep telling myself i am going to fail but yet my parents got so much confidence in me .thats what scares me the most..i cant bare to let them down....i guess i just have to remind myself not to give up because life have to continue on ..hope i found something that will make my spirit of studying up!today is hari raya so wanna wish all my malay frens "selamat hari raya".